Necesito una historia inventada en inglés de una anécdota o un accidente en vacación?

I was listening quietly to the guide as describes the birthplace of Mozart, suddenly, I get to take the hand of my boyfriend in "theory" was behind me and I hear a little voice output afterlife saying : "Sorry, but I think my hand is not what you want to catch "I turn and Earth, swallow me !

There was a lovely old lady and planted my hand was linked to yours so you can imagine : I red as a tomato and got out of there as fast as I could.